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A Quest to Peace

In the dawn in Asia region, Kim’s ballistic missile scratched to draw another fissure to world’s tension.
News of racial tension was obviously in spike in the past few months. Only two things are for sure lurking in your mind: Insecurity and War.
I had been in such state of mind ever since my 20s. Unemployment, Absence of parent’s support, Hong Kong losing the valuable status in the world, Deflation of Hong Kong Dollars, Health problems, Poverty, War and Anarchy.
Most importantly, what I fear the most, is being sucked into stability under the cradle of system. Anyway, I have never trusted any systems but I was neither welcomed by it.
That should be the origin for the quest of life. If not, I am just too idle to move anywhere.
Today, I might have gone over the top for my quest and now things are a bit beyond control. Alas, I have been saying to myself my 20s had been too smooth and sweet, time to taste some bitter.
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This time I’d love to introduce a Chinese classic from our Saint Poet — Li Bai. The translated title should be Journey of the Youth (少年行).
击筑饮美酒,剑歌易水湄。
(Feast with lute and booze, chant for my grief and enthusiasm)
经过燕太子,结托并州儿。
(A hero should get to know his own kinds or match with young chivalry)
少年负壮气,奋烈自有时。
(Aspired for achievement at youth, preparing to channel his passion on one great job.)
因击鲁句践,争博勿相欺。
(Had I got to know a great person, wish he wouldn’t be harsh on me.)
(Interpreted by me, it is just a rough work)
It’s only an excerpt of the poem. Anyway, couldn’t find a poem that close to my thought for instance.
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Strength for swimming in whirlpool and Cure for fallen heart

First, I have to prove a point. Even though I will no longer be in Europe, I will still make groundbreaking progress in French, Spanish and Italian, how?

Listening to Latino and French music would be for sure, but I will prove that reciting poemas … poems is the critical step to make.

Why reciting poems?

My viewpoint is, cultural reconstruction. I am not the first one who advocates reciting the classic, but I think I am the first one who can explain and prove it. What hinders a foreign language speaker from mastering the foreign language. The premier challenge is no doubt culture – you speak foreign language but think in your own language.

French: j’en ai ras-le-bol
English: I am fucking fed up.

French: tu t’en sors
English: You will manage, you will be fine.

Can you make any sense of it?  If no, it’s culture.

But why specifically poem?

Again, what is culture first? Language? Food? What you are proud of? What your clan cultivate? Music? Arts?

No. You ritual passage, passage of growing up. Culture is your experience of the world that you are growing up. In the same ethnic background, there will be more members experiencing the same ritual.

I don’t know the United States or certain part in Europe. But if you ask Asians or maybe French, certainly there are a lot of them who were humiliated or spanked for not being able to recite certain passages or complete the dictation. That’s ritual.

I read an article about certain artist or musician being spanked or beaten by his mother for not being able to complete a piano recital. Well, music is the world he lives in. I wish my mum was the strict when I played guitar in my adolescence.

If they succeed, they do not foster the text, but the meaning and something more metaphysical into the brain. However, I couldn’t tell and I am looking forward to proving it.

Starting today, I am strictly following at least one poem for each language (French, Spanish and Italian) a week.

Honestly, it’s major for keeping my foreign languages. Most important, it’s curing my heart fallen apart because of leaving Europe soon.

Today, I will start with Juan Ramon Jimée’s <<Mi alma es hermana del cielo>>  – My soul is heaven’s sister.

Mi alma es hermana del cielo
gris y de las hojas secas;
sol enfermo del otoño,
mátame con tu tristeza!

Los árboles del jardín
están cargados de niebla:
mi corazón busca en ellos
esa novia que no encuentra;

y en el sueño frío y húmedo
me esperan las hojas secas:
si mi alma fuera una hoja
y se perdiera entre ellas!

El sol ha mandado un rayo
de oro viejo a la arboleda,
un rayo flotante, dulce
luz para las cosas muertas.

¡Qué ternura tiene el pobre
sol para las hojas secas!
Una tristeza infinita
vaga por todas las sendas,
lenta, antigua sinfonía
de música y de esencias,
algo que dora el jardín
de ensueño de primavera.

Y esa luz de ensueño y oro
que muere en las hojas secas,
alumbra en mi corazón
no sé qué vagas tristezas.

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Summary: The autumn sun shines through the dried leaves, the golden warm light expels my grief.

 

 

I will swim through the killer stream, chanting your hymn,

then snatch up my missing piece and come back in a better me.

 

Coming soon. Chinese poem.

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whirlpool of stress and rim of fear

The real moment of putting your intelligence and faith into test is when you jump into something opposite to what you expect or are accustomed to.

This summer is definitely a memorable one in my life, the summer of my 30, full of high and low tides.

Achieved a stage and see another destination in your life, but first you have to go exactly the opposite to reach the next one; find the love of your life and someone and something worth fighting for, but it is destined to stay far away from it at your high time.

 

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C’est la vie and it’s fate.

I can only say my 20s was way too smooth and sweet.

Despite full of complaint and anger, I am not in the position to grudge about it. It’s the moment to take the hit and plan how to take it wisely and fight back.

The sudden change in wind and tide,

The disappointment frustration that succeed,

The limited time to make up my mind,

The foreseeable change to a scarier truth that I perceive,

painful but addictive, what a beautiful whirlpool to jump in.

painful because I seldom failed

painful because I want to be always as good as I used to be

I always suspect the positivity; meditating and getting prepared in negativity turns out better for me.

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Do I want to change? Am I ready or not?

I should stop talking, the more I talk, the less encourage I want to jump in.

Anyway, I am wasting another entry to relieve, to face my own fragility and to reveal it, meaning I am still far from my business.

But, I will survive, I will survive!

 

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New Journey: Andorra

Back to the beginning of July when I was tossing and turning between the two internship offers, I actually inclined to pick the harder one.

  1. As a business developer for a Chinese E-commerce start-up in Andorra
    I have been grappled with the boss to get the offer, and even for contract and for an accurate address. For several times I couldn’t help wondering if it’s a scam, even though the internship proposition is from the school platform. Other than the insecurity, it is a start over in a strange country (Francophone > hispanohablante) Anyway, the prospect is murky but growth is exponential.
  2. Research in Marseille
    With such experience during the business school, it is just that the topic is wider than what I have been dealt with. Familiar environment, Accessible to helps and friends in just a few steps.

Of course, I chose the first one and the choice I made intensified my anxiety. In the whole July, intern, thesis, housing, residence , unpaid school fee and living cost are on my shoulders. Till the day, I am in the office — 27th July 2017 — it’s a real start-up company with one French and three Chinese faces, interns, residence and housing problems are partially lifted.

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It wasn’t for long, and gloom overshadows again. Hunger for success and loneliness tag team. With everything incubating, feeling of being trussed-up is obvious and taking over from my nerve to vein. 10GB free for internet in my residence, wasting time to get to work, uncertain of my residency, incubating the business etc. It is difficult to focus while fighting insecurity.

I feel like being thrown back to April and May this year. Solitude and Lost.

I was prepared for a fight for faith before starting my journey here, but guess I am not persistent enough to put up a fight.

Well, having abandoned this blog for another month, today this entry marks another beginning and a new struggle in my life.

I wish to have more consistency in subject or topic, but till today, the only consistency is reflection and new start. Well, that’s enough.

It’s just like writers tearing pages and starting a new plot. My blog is so far rather like the cockled trash at the corner than what is left entirely on the note.

Starting from tomorrow (it’s 11 p.m. now), I will go jogging every other day and recite poems in italian, french and spanish. Then I fill this blog with poems.

Anyway, it should be a good drill to reach my short term goals (never tell your goals and dreams to anyone unless you are in the middle of them).

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SHAME AND LAME, MEAL ET MESSH

Shame on me.

I said I would take a week off for learning html.

It turns out that the internship searching has outbeaten me and I learnt no single trick for optimize my blog.

My daily routine is rushing to throw all darts to find out the one that sticks, and suffering from ”no news is bad news”.

Worst of all, I left my blog unattended for two-week time. What a sin, shame on me.

Translation, looking for internship, preparing for interview,

waiting for good news, rest in unrest, grudging….

I did not even talk to anyone for almost whole two weeks.

What’s haunting me is that as a guy who always plans,

I can’t help imagining the life I will have once upon I am offered a certain internship while I was trying to sleep. Yes, Insomnia attacks.

Like I will have a wonderful life with the new team at work, hangout with my friends, find my love and start my own project.

It’s too good too smooth to be true, and I want it happen.

But the more I assume, the least it will come true hmmmmm….. assumption is the mother of failure, where did I hear of it?

And then the next day I check email……. no news, no phone call,

Nothing

I have never thought that void and expectation can be so heavy and tiring.

Maybe I should expect less for finding an internship in France and start to face reality (work in my home country, but having overseas experience for piling up my edge is what I come for….)

One month left for France internship hunting… I don’t think it is a good idea to force myself to stay longer.

Maybe I should start to manage my life first, so no matter what, this blog won’t be abandoned for more than one week.

 

 

 

First time French-Chinese Legal Translation (3)

For first visitors who accidentally WADE into this blog, no panic, please be patient to read

First time French-Chinese Legal Translation (1)

First time French-Chinese Legal Translation (2)

Why did I panic?

Simple, I promised my contact to return a piece of French-Chinese translation at 21:30 and at the moment I started to panic it was 20:00.

I know that Google Translate won’t bring me close to prêt-à-lire translation, but under the legal context, Com’on, I thought this machine could do at least 40% of my job for French – Chinese translation, even though it surprised me not.

70% of the text to be dealt with vs 1 hour and a half the time bomb tickled.

I surrendered and confessed to my contact that I could not make it. Luckily, he is a cool guy and he knew that I am new to this (I wanna say I was, but I am still new to this). If he didn’t bother to push me or yell at me for anything.

Okay, back to translation, there were many aspects that this text tickled me a lot, and I will drop some Chinese expressions for example:

  1. French is too different from English:
    • Ordonnance de non-lieu (Literally: Order / Prescription of non-place)= Revocation Order or abrogation of judgement something like that (撤銷令)
    • des chefs de  = principally related to / about
    • ordonnance de soit-communiqué (order of be talking) = something like summon notice / letter (傳召書) [make little sense]
  2.  Several French expressions to talk about one or similar shit, but not using compound of lexis:
    • Prosecutor = procureur (if I have never learnt any French, I thought it had been procurer or buyer or something) / ministère public (com’on, public minister? Seriously?)  / parquet (=public prosecutor’s department, sweet Jesus!)
  3.  Limited Aid for French-Chinese LEGAL Translation
    • I admit, it was my problem. I only got one night and did not have enough time to dig out better French-Chinese Dictionary.

I have a lot to grunge like why French using many lexis to say one thing and describe one thing with many different lexis and blah blah blah. But the listed 3 problems had already tripped me for more than 3 hours.

Anyway, the client needed it by 3 am French time and I can merely send it to my contact at 2 something de la mañana. He was so nice to tell me to get some rest after I was not even so sure about what I had sent to him.

I couldn’t sleep after this job as I was traumatized by the bigger area that I have to explore for my French. It was one hell of the blow to me and I wonder how much more time I need for mastering this language. That’s how I started writing this blog.

P.S. to fix the problem of cultural gap between mine and French culture, I started reciting French poems, like Jean de la Fontaine’s La fortune et le jeune enfant and Alfred de musset’s La tristesse. Well, I should hold a session to explain why reciting poem sounds important to me.

I should take a week’s break from now on to learn some html or css stuff. I feel like this week would be good for learning new stuff.

After that, this site should go public on facebook.

 

Summary of French-Chinese Legal Translation:

Ordannance de non-lieu > Revocation Order

Des chefs de >Mainly about

Ordonnance de soit-communiqué > Summon Letter

Parquet / Procureur / Ministère Public > All about Prosecutor

First time French-Chinese Legal Translation (2)

 

For those who visit here the first time, you can refer to my previous post.

I am green here, so the layout and system may be a bit suck, but I will spend one of every 4 weeks to make it as pro as Apple website and as entertaining as possible.

Let’s get back to the French translation:

Other than French readers, do you know what “Ordonnance de non-lieu” means?

I started. As usual, like how I worked on English-Chinese, I scanned once, and I could make sense to 50% of it at my level (I got DELF B2, equivalent to Baccaleuréat) and the paragraphs were cramped into horseshit.

As usual, I processed it on Google Translation before I made sense of the output and as usual, it sucks.

I set Google Chrome with tabs of dictionary / translation tools. Unfortunately, there were not as many options for French-Chinese Dictionary as English-Chinese. It might be necessary to translate from French-English to English-Chinese.

The job started at 15:30 and I shifted my attention from translation to job-hunting for 1 hr between 18:00 and 19:00 (not to mention cooking + meal for 45 mins) . I thought that it might help to organize my thought a lil bit and come back for a more efficient translation. No, it’s not.

Even with translation kit it did not help better. After it has been turned into Chinese, the 50% remained mystery. I regretted taking this job and giving myself a bit diversion from this task.

The story is basically about someone accusing the defendant twice at different points of time of committing fraud to the French government. The complaint was duplicated while the earlier case remains open. So…. may be you start to make sense what ”Ordonnancne de non-lieu” means…. ?

The scam / fraud story was just fine. The most ”cassé-les-couilles” was the legal procedure that confused me.

At 20:00, I started to panic. Why?  Let’s wrap it up in First time French-Chinese Legal Translation (3).

First time French-Chinese Legal Translation (1)

I should have said something about the set up for this blog and my motivation.

Yet, as a job cut in a day before, and it’s a brand new genre for me, I want to say something about it for a lil’ distraction.

I am splitting this experience into 2 – 3 parts, and I have never told a story that long.

“Ça me casse les couilles!” (Pain in my ass, which is not correct, because couilles doesn’t mean ass but somethingSSS lower than it) It is much nicer a title than what I have put, and it is what I have been yelling during the translation.

To begin with, my french translation experience = 0, of course it really is ”cassé les couilles”.

My contact (who gave me this job, even though it’s him who pays me) didn’t explain me anything except ”Do you have time to work on a French to Chinese Translation, 1900 words? The clients needs it tonight.” 1900 words in French.

I didn’t struggle a lot and replied, ”I am not confident in this, but if you allow me, I want to give it a try.”

”Original sent to you and wait for your work” You see? That’s why my contact is so cool.

I promised him that I would return to him at 21:30 (French time) so he could correct it and deliver it to the client.

So I opened it, crap, it’s legal document… ”Ordonnance de non-lieu”? I am sure that it is not what you learn from the regular French course.

It’s better stop here and ”To be continued”.

Review of my MSc in International Business in France (1)

I drafted it this morning like 11 am and couldn’t believe that I could not come back until now.

Taken away by a freelance job – legal translation task (French – Chinese) and it is PUTAIN difficult. I still cannot figure it out how they built up such weird expression but I will never understand. (About this, I will talk later about learning language in relation to culture and identity construction.)

Back to the topic, this academic year (September 2016 – now) have been a big time for me. I am lucky enough to enrich my vision to a much more profound world and experience a different life. Yet, for now, I should first conclude with something I want to say so much but I reserved it for this moment for this blog:

”THE COURSE MAY HAVE FINISHED BUT THE STUDY HAS JUST BEGUN.”

Many follow-up to do for this course:

1. Organize my notes (for the first time of my life and for putting it here)

2. Find a minimum 4-month internship (PM me if you have an ”exclusive” offer haha)

3. Thesis about International Business (Progress 0.01%)

4. Pay my school fee (Alright, I hoped Marine Le Pen would have been elected yesterday so Euro would drop vastly and I could have paid the school fee at a lower price with my currency, but thanks Macron my plan does not work. Now I have to hope that he will be smart enough to lower the Euro for more business.)

 

 

Before 30 – from a whim to something

”I need to change,”

”I want people to come to me and invite me to their big plans instead of I knocking on their doors to offer help for their big plans. Plus, no more waiting for their ‘considerations’,”

”I hate being judged and excluded by some stupid reasons. I wanna break walls between humans and destroy the snobbish exclusiveness.”

That’s how I concluded from my gloominess and anger in past two weeks.

My hatred to the system and exclusiveness in the society wouldn’t burst out hadn’t I seen ever close to life-like experience of Jesse Eisenberg’s Mark Zuckerberg in the Social Network. 

No alcohol, no pots, I just consciously fire up the wordpress (that have been opened for years without any entries) as if knowing what to do with it.

I wanna destroy the system of exclusiveness and wall of this world, well, including my biggest foe – Nationality, starting off with my blog:

My visions:

  1. No sales of knowledge / education is no longer a capital investment
  2. The big firms and governments can really kiss on my ass.
  3. People like me like liking my blog.

But first off, I should organize and bring what I have learnt from this Master of Commerce to this blog, nicely illustrated and as nicely explained as I could. The Master costs me and my family … like 15 000 euros and I am going to put it here as if I don’t care.

Nevertheless, it takes some time to organize, so let me just start with talking out languages and studies of studying itself.

I should not tell anyone about my plan as it leaks the energy to go on, not to mention wrapping it up. However,  if I don’t, I am not handling it under stress.

Plus, I want everyone know that I am consciously endeavouring to realize my vision so when I slow down, someone kicks my ass.