Back to the beginning of July when I was tossing and turning between the two internship offers, I actually inclined to pick the harder one.
- As a business developer for a Chinese E-commerce start-up in Andorra
I have been grappled with the boss to get the offer, and even for contract and for an accurate address. For several times I couldn’t help wondering if it’s a scam, even though the internship proposition is from the school platform. Other than the insecurity, it is a start over in a strange country (Francophone > hispanohablante) Anyway, the prospect is murky but growth is exponential.
- Research in Marseille
With such experience during the business school, it is just that the topic is wider than what I have been dealt with. Familiar environment, Accessible to helps and friends in just a few steps.
Of course, I chose the first one and the choice I made intensified my anxiety. In the whole July, intern, thesis, housing, residence , unpaid school fee and living cost are on my shoulders. Till the day, I am in the office — 27th July 2017 — it’s a real start-up company with one French and three Chinese faces, interns, residence and housing problems are partially lifted.
It wasn’t for long, and gloom overshadows again. Hunger for success and loneliness tag team. With everything incubating, feeling of being trussed-up is obvious and taking over from my nerve to vein. 10GB free for internet in my residence, wasting time to get to work, uncertain of my residency, incubating the business etc. It is difficult to focus while fighting insecurity.
I feel like being thrown back to April and May this year. Solitude and Lost.
I was prepared for a fight for faith before starting my journey here, but guess I am not persistent enough to put up a fight.
Well, having abandoned this blog for another month, today this entry marks another beginning and a new struggle in my life.
I wish to have more consistency in subject or topic, but till today, the only consistency is reflection and new start. Well, that’s enough.
It’s just like writers tearing pages and starting a new plot. My blog is so far rather like the cockled trash at the corner than what is left entirely on the note.
Starting from tomorrow (it’s 11 p.m. now), I will go jogging every other day and recite poems in italian, french and spanish. Then I fill this blog with poems.
Anyway, it should be a good drill to reach my short term goals (never tell your goals and dreams to anyone unless you are in the middle of them).